The last time I saw her, she was wearing a beautiful white dress and white shoes. She looked like she was a bride at a wedding. Her skin was almost as white as snow and her long black hair was braided in the back. Her icy blue eyes sparkled in the moonlight. We were walking around in our favorite place in the forest. Everything was alive. The water was falling down from a cliff, the birds chirped, the flowers bloomed, and the deer pranced around. We kissed a few times and danced. It was the most magical moment of my life. But now she's gone... She disappeared mysteriously. Some say she drowned in a lake and never to be seen at the bottom of it and others say that she was kidnapped. I believe that she ran away because of her parents. She told me all the time on how they would beat her up and yell at her. I wish all the time that I can change her life into a better one. She was my life and will always be... I may not see her again but our love was true and I will never forget that nor I will forget her...
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More
Sta.sh
The spelling is rather sloppy. I can point out a few mistakes in spelling and grammar. Especially "...a few times n danced." And and and and AND.
Aside from that, your imagery is actually pretty amazing. You are obviously very good at creating an image in your head and describing it.
As for the subject matter, this is the most cliche thing I've ever read. "I had an abused girlfriend that disappeared." Not like I've ever heard that story before.
Honestly, this would have been a much better piece in my eyes if the spelling wasn't as lazy. But keep writing; you are most definitely a good writer.
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